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10 THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN A WOMAN TELLS YOU SHE WANTS AN ABORTION

May 1st 2017

  1. DO NOT RESPOND WITH NEGATIVITY

~If you are full of negative emotions, take a breath and say nothing…it’s OK

~IF you want to say something positive, let her know. 1. You are glad she decided to tell you, 2. You are for her, 3. She’s not alone, 4. You will walk through this with her.

  1. do not elevate your voice

~Manage the volume, tone and pace of your voice

~You don’t want her to feel shamed or guilty for considering abortion

~Your job is NOT to bring the conviction of sin, that’s The Holy Spirit’s work

~Show compassion while speaking the truth, remind her there is help and hope

~Do talk fast or over her

~Don’t listen with an agenda to change her. She will need to know she is important, loved and respect before you can share your insight

  1. do not lose eye contact

~When she tells you, soften your face & voice. Be aware of your facial expressions

~Body language is a major component of communication

~Watch how she uses eye contact and try to mirror her. If she doesn’t look you in the face she may need physical space to process thoughts and feelings

~Focus on the fact she is telling you very personal information. Listen attentively

  1. do not use manipulation

~Avoid tactics like over-emphasizing abortion procedures, exaggerating risks or works like “kill”

~Say a quick, silent prayer before it’s your turn to talk

~God will empower you to present the truth in love

  1. do not use negative confrontation

~It’s important she is fully informed about the impact of abortion on her, the father and the baby

~Speak in love. Negativity represents failure to love her

~Remember this is a caring discussion with someone who loves her and has her best interest in mind

~You must be honest, but allow time for thoughtful silence. Focus on her needs

~Let her know you understand her desperation to get out of the situation

~Lovingly share any discrepancies between the reasons for an abortion and her morals/values

~Trust that God guided her to share with you and He will bring her to all truth

  1. do not invalidate her feelings

~It’s okay to normalize her feelings. This does not mean you agree an abortion choice is good

~Validating these feelings opens the door to discussing them. She may feel alone and disconnected

  1. do not play the blame game

~There may be many reasons why this happened. This is not the time to discuss fault

  1. do not compare her with others

~Remind her she is fearfully and wonderfully made

~Although her circumstances may not have been God’s will for this time, she carries God’s perfect creation. Demonstrate you cherish both of them

  1. do not tell her what she should or should not do

~We cannot force anyone to do what we think is best

~Guide her: Listen, encourage, give space, reflect back to her, point out inconsistencies

  1. do not say, “i told you so.”

~Speak the truth in love. Show the love of The Father, preserve the bond of trust and respect

Written by Hope

I am finally ready to share my abortion story. It’s true what they say...you will think about it every single day. Just as I think about my living children every day. I know now that I will never stop thinking about the baby that I aborted. . Read this chemical abortion story >

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